Relationship violence
Understanding relationship violence, and how you can seek out support, advice and resources.
Healthy relationships are important to us all. They are integral to our mental health, daily functioning, and help us to cope during difficult times. New research also suggests healthy relationships are good for our physical health. support us to feel valued and share the joys and challenges of life.听听
- You have a right to respect and safety in all your relationships.听听
- You have a responsibility to treat others with respect in relationships If someone鈥檚 behaviour is making you feel scared, worried, or unsafe, it's OK to ask for support and help.听听
- If you are concerned that your behaviour could be abusive, support is available to help you change.听
Discover support for staff or students affected by family and relationship violence, including information around what it might look like, and 糖心logo and external resources and support.
What is relationship violence?
Relationship violence includes intimate partner violence, family or domestic violence, and coercive control.听 Relationship violence can happen to anyone 鈥 regardless of country, religion, sexuality, gender, social background socioeconomic status, age or culture.听听
It can happen in any relationship, including with:听
- Boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands or wives.听
- Ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-partners, ex-husbands or ex-wives.听
- Parents, guardians or other family members.听
- Carers or paid support workers.听
- Adult children.听
- Other people you live with or see often, whether inside or outside the home.听
Unhealthy, coercive or abusive relationships often involve behaviours related to maintaining power and control. These behaviours can be subtle and difficult to describe.听
Signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship can include patterns of:听
- Unwanted checking of your phone, emails, or social media and tracking your movements.听
- Manipulative behaviours which make you question your perceptions and reality (otherwise known as gaslighting).听
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity.听
- Regularly shaming you, insulting you or demeaning you.听
- Explosive temper.听
- Attempts to isolate you from family, friends and others in your support network.听
- Constant mood swings, making you feel like you're 'walking on eggshells'.听
- Physical intimidation, harm or injury.听
- Breaking or throwing things.听
- Threatening to harm you, others or pets.听
- Possessiveness and control over your actions.听
- Restrictions on who you can see or what you can do.听
- Financial control over your spending or withholding money unless you do what they want.听
- Pressure to engage in sexual contact.听
- Generally preventing you from making your own decisions, or making you feel like there will be negative repercussions if you make your own decisions.听
- Treating you very differently in public compared to how they treat you when you are alone.听
Key definitions
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Intimate Partner Violence, sometimes called domestic violence, can occur in intimate relationships, such as with a romantic partner or spouse. It can include physical violence, or threats of violence, intimidation, stalking and harassment, as well as controlling behaviours. Intimate partner violence can cause physical, financial, psychological, emotional, or sexual harm. It is important to remember that intimate partner violence can consist of a pattern of behaviours that can be hard to describe and might not seem problematic in isolation.
Intimate partner violence can occur although people may not live with the abusive partner or be in a 鈥渢raditional鈥 partnered relationship with their abuser.
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Family violence refers to threatening, coercive, controlling, or abusive behaviour between individuals in a family context, kinship or 鈥榝amily of choice鈥 relationships. It includes child abuse and elder abuse. The behaviours experienced cause feelings of worthlessness, fear and distress in the person affected by the behaviour.听
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Coercive control is often a part of relationship violence, perpetrators exert power and dominance through behaviours preventing the other person from making their own choices and being independent.听
Coercive control can have physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, cultural, social and financial impacts. The impacts of coercive control can build up over time, resulting in the person affected feeling trapped and isolated. This can make it hard to seek and receive support or end a relationship.听听
Some of the behaviours that contribute to coercive control are more easily recognised as abuse, such as harassment, financial abuse, stalking or technology-facilitated abuse. Other behaviours may be less recognised as a form of control, such as discouraging contact with family and friends, or discouraging work outside the home.
From 1 July 2024, coercive control is a criminal offence in NSW under the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022.听 听
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Finding out that someone you know is experiencing relationship violence can be distressing, and it is natural to want to help but not know how. The most important thing is to listen, remain unjudgmental and support the person in making their own choices when they are ready. It is also better to talk about the perpetrator/s behaviours rather than them as a person as being negative about the perpetrator can sometimes alienate the person you鈥檙e supporting.听
If someone you know is experiencing relationship violence you can seek professional support. For more information about how to respond and support someone:听
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Support
- On campus support
- Off campus support
- Useful links
Gendered Violence Portal听听
- Staff, students or members of the 糖心logo community can use the to seek advice and refer themselves or another person, to receive support with relationship violence.听听
- Referrals made via the portal are received by the Gendered Violence Response Team (GVRT) at 糖心logo Psychology and Wellness. The GVRT is a team of specialist mental health clinicians within Psychology and Wellness who are trained to support victims/survivors of gendered violence, including a Specialist Gendered Violence Counsellor. The GVRT works closely with internal and external support services and can assist with helping you get the help you need in a variety of different areas.听听
- Internal referral is to the GVRT within P&W who can provide specified relationship violence counselling and/or case management support. They can access us through our email at: reportgenderedviolence@unsw.edu.au,听by calling P&W reception on 9385 5418 or via the portal.听
- If your experience includes sexual assault, the GVRT also work alongside The Survivor Hub to provide monthly meetups for people who have experienced sexual violence at 糖心logo.听
- about these meetups.听听
Other 糖心logo services that can assist include:
- 糖心logo Health and Safety and Human Resources Can provide support for staff, including assistance with accessing domestic violence leave and flexible work arrangements.听
- 糖心logo Security - Call 9385 6666 for emergencies or 9385 6000 for general inquiries. Services include immediate assistance, additional monitoring of campus locations and escorts around campus. Available 24/7 for immediate assistance.
SafeZone plays a crucial role in maintaining the safety of our 糖心logo community. It aims to provide our staff and students with the following advantages:听
- Access to personalised emergency assistance without delay. (Emergency Alert, First Aid or Non-urgent matters).听
- A direct line to the 糖心logo Security Operations Centre which can deploy appropriate emergency resources.听听
- Prompt notifications regarding safety issues in their vicinity.听
- In the event of an emergency, the app allows you to quickly share your location and details with the University Security team who will be able to get the right assistance to you.听
Support services for anyone affected听
- is a national support service for those impacted by domestic family and sexual violence. Call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or chat online.
- For languages other than English:
- NSW Domestic Violence Line - 1800 65 64 63 The Domestic Violence Line is a 24-hour NSW statewide telephone crisis counselling and referral service for women, including trans women. Counsellors on the Domestic Violence Line can help you: 鈥⑻
- Talk to the police and get legal help.听
- 听Get hospital care and family support services.听
- Obtain an Apprehended Violence Order (AVO).听
- Develop a safety plan for you and your children.
- Find emergency accommodation for you and your children.听
(07) 3846 3490听
A specialist service response for immigrant and refugee women from non-English speaking background and their children who have experienced domestic and/or sexual violence.听
Kingsford Legal Centre
Provides free legal advice and assistance to people who live, work or study in the Randwick City LGA and the Mascot and Port Botany Wards of Bayside Council. They provide a NSW state-wide service around Discrimination and Sexual Harassment Law.听
LGBTIQA+ support services听
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- Switchboard - for LGBTIQA+ specific support and referral.听
Encourages LGBTQ+ communities to have healthy relationships, get help for unhealthy relationships and support their friends听
Services supporting behaviour change听
The leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities. They aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.听
24/7 support at 1300 766 491
A telephone counselling, information and referral service for men using, or at risk of using violent or controlling behaviour.听
1300 78 99 78听
Offers free telephone and online counselling for men with concerns about mental health, anger management, family violence, addiction, relationships, stress and wellbeing.听
Contact us
Do you have questions or suggestions? We鈥檇 love to hear from you!听听
Urgent medical or safety help
- Off campus: Call Triple zero (000).听
- On campus: Call 9385 6666 for 糖心logo Security.
- Immediate support: Call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or visit our
- For more information:
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Prevention programs
听听听听Learn more about 糖心logo鈥檚 prevention programs:听听
Together, let鈥檚 create a safer, more inclusive 糖心logo. Thank you for your support!